


730

by youmadeamistakeintrustingme



Category: Haikyuu!!, Iwaoi - Fandom
Genre: Afterbreakups, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Minor note that may sound like a suicide note, Oikawa Tooru Needs a Hug, Oneshot, Post-Break Up, it might sting a bit, steps to self healing, they're in their twenties by now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29900190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youmadeamistakeintrustingme/pseuds/youmadeamistakeintrustingme
Summary: January 1stOur memories are sealed in my head every day, I think of you and sometimes I wonder if you’re thinking of me. It's funny how time has passed so fast, at least for me it has passed so quickly. Our time together as friends had gone too quickly for the both of us.
Relationships: IwaOi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	730

**Author's Note:**

> This just might be a one-shot so don't expect too much from this amateur writer. Forgive me for the poor grammar errors I wrote this short thing while I was supposed to sleep.

_January 1st_

_Our memories are sealed in my head every day, I think of you and sometimes I wonder if you’re thinking of me. It's funny how time has passed so fast, at least for me it has passed so quickly. Our time together as friends had gone too quickly for the both of us. Sometimes I forget that you’re no longer outside waiting for me, when I step out of my place I look forward to seeing you in the morning yet I’m greeted by the empty howls of the wind. This year winter is a lot colder than the years that you were here or perhaps it might just be because I don’t see you anymore. Iwa-chan it’s been hard on both you and me both. Today I walk alone yet again but today I feel like I have the whole world to myself and I’m able to breathe again. Today is the seventh hundred and thirtieth day that you departed from me. Day by day I counted and it’s been exactly two years since we broke up, not just our romantic relationship but also our friendship as well. You were so cruel towards me on this day two years ago, yet on this day two years afterward I’m proving you wrong. Our friendship that we’ve built up was gone because of the poor choices we both made, yet I took the blame. I may or may have not been the first to fall in love but love is a two-person thing last I’d check. So no our friendship ties weren’t ruined because of me alone, but the both of us. It’s been two years since I took a shot at love. They say that first love hurts the most, even overcoming first love is difficult. I’ve got to admit though, our love scarred me pretty deeply. The person who I thought was going to stick by my side ended up ditching me behind. Those who looked up to me blamed me for ruining our relationship. No one would believe me that it was you who broke up with me and not me who broke up with you. Doubtfully you’ll believe that you were my first love. Two years, without you. I feel like I can go another year if I keep the right mindset. Even if it’s the last time you’ll see me please just smile at me one more time…. Of course, I already know what your response will be already there’s no need to be so mean with your words. Did you know that words can hurt? I should know better than anyone how that feels especially that I’m on the receiving end of it. I wish you a happy New Year and a happy anniversary from me to you, for letting you go as you had pleased. I wish you the best as we were once lovers, best friends, and teammates. This will be the last time you’ll be receiving anything from this person who wasn’t worth your time two years ago. I’ve decided to end it all today to forget everything. Please be happy and live well, I will never blame you for your decisions. I’ll continue to root for you and support your choices in life. I want to forget the pain that I wake up to every day._

* * *

Oikawa Toru typed the message over many, many times before even copying it so many times before. Drafting so many messages for that person but he could never bring himself to hit the send button to the receiver. It has become the norm for him to delete and draft so many messages. Spending the last two years writing these types of things and trying to cope with himself from the messy breakup.

Reading it through once more, the tips of his fingers feels quite moist from the sweat that he’s having just thinking about the reaction that he might get from the person who he’s writing for. Taking deep breaths a few times before clicking send. 

Watching the loading of the computer mouse on his screen then the screen popped up with a triangle with an exclamation mark. Releasing the breath that even he didn’t know he was holding. Reloading the page and trying again. Once again being hit with the same screen. _You even went as far as blocking me through email?_ Oikawa thought, unconsciously the tears started rolling down his eyes making those orbs sparkle. Covering both his eyes with one hand he went to his old phone. 

Sending the email to himself then from his email he copied the message. Pulling up a contact he hadn’t touched since his volleyball days in high school. Sawamura Koshi. Touching the contact but he couldn’t bring himself to involve Karasuno’s ex-vice captain in his drama. Skipping through his contacts until his ex’s name came up. Clicking on the contact and pasting his email letter to his ex. Today is the day he had decided to get over Hajime Iwazumi and get back on his feet.

He had successfully sent the message to that number something that he had struggled to do in the seven hundred days. Not waiting for a response he quickly turned off the old device and chuck it into the trash can. Everything must go, all the memories that they had together because it’ll do nothing but bring more pain. The first step to healing is forgetting the beginning of the inflicted pain. 

This whole apartment, they had shared this apartment when they were together. It’s time to move on. He had already packed everything the days before sending the message. He had wanted one last look at the memories before forgetting it completely. Everywhere he had looked in the apartment silhouettes of a younger him and his previous lover were there. Sighing, “There’s no need to dwell on this. It’s time to move on.” Reminding himself and taking out the trash bag which he threw his old cell phone in. “Landlady said I can just leave it by the door.” Talking to himself and smiling at his progress. Never once had he thought about turning back to the apartment. Going to the ground floor to inform his landlady about him leaving for good. 

Sunglasses and a pulled hood keeping him hidden and unnoticeable to those who he might run into out in the streets. The elevator dings on the ground floor and someone rushes into the elevator without apologizing for running into him. Taking a deep breath then releasing it, trying to hold it all together. _Don’t mind Toru, maybe that person is just in a rush to use the bathroom._ Comforting himself to stay positive, he had continued to walk up towards the desk to drop off his original keycard to his room and the keychains that he had bought for it. Custom jersey number four on it. Staring at the keychain he had thought about keeping it for himself but he also told himself that he wanted to forget everything they had together. “Are you done packing already?” His landlady snapping him off from his thoughts.

Nodding as he clutched the keychain in his hand unwilling to let go of the keychain, “I’m returning my keys to you.” Although those words had come out his actions were doing the exact opposite of what his mouth had said. 

Seeing his actions she didn’t mind, “Take your time to collect yourself before letting go.” Although she thought her words were nothing more than an empty shell of support for her ex-tenant.

Shaking his head he broke into a smile and let go of the keycard and keychain altogether after ten minutes of eternal fighting with himself. “Thank you.” He waves as he makes his way towards the door. Once out of these doors there’s no coming back in, without a keycard he no longer is a resident of the building. Making his way out of the secured building and taking the next bus that came by. 

His first steps in healing himself and getting over the breakup with Iwaizumi. It took him a total of seven hundred and thirty days to finally bring himself to send a text since that day and leave the apartment they used to share for good. As soon as he found a seat by the window he pulled his hood back and took off the sunglasses. The bus started moving but there weren't many people on this express bus route since it went straight to the next couple of towns over. 

If only he had spared one last glance at the apartment building he would’ve seen a desperate man, searching on the verge of tears and chasing after the bus that wouldn’t stop. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for actually finishing the mini-story. I hope you have a great day and stay safe.


End file.
